How I miss the feeling of falling asleep next to you, knowing you would be there when I woke up. Reminding me that there was a reason to live, showing me how to love and forgive. Always being there for me when I cried when no one else was, you were always there. When alone at night, when mum was off at who knows where, you were next to me. Making sure I made it out of bed every day and take a walk with you, or when I was sick you stayed in and laid next to me all day. You were my foundation, and once the mat was pulled out from underneath my feet, I fell down and could barely pick up the pieces. How could I forget you kicking me and the sheets off the bed, making yourself comfortable? Lying upon me, my shoulder as a pillow, and my chest as a mattress. And I; falling asleep to the noise of your heavy breath, taking you under into a deep rest. Where nightmares never occurred as long as you were here next to me. Now you are my nightmares, only wishing I could have you back, as you did before. Depression has overtaken me, in the place of where you used to live in my heart. Why did you have to leave? Why? I guess I will never know the answer, as it will be locked in the drawer of lies my mum has put down before me, oh so many times beforehand.